Another tasty Auburn coaching search is behind us as the Tigers announced Monday the hiring of disgraced coach Hugh Freeze to a budget-friendly contract (at the time of this writing, Freeze’s buyout is unknown to me but I bet it’s not as much as Chizik, Gus or Harsin got.) Granted, this is after Lane Kiffin turned down Auburn and agreed to a contract extension with Ole Miss, but new Auburn AD John Cohen stressed at the announcement of the hiring that Freeze had been their top target all along.
I’m not surprised by the hire because I supported it. I knew about the hookers and that he had to dip off for a few years to coach football at Liberty, where I know at least one person liked watching younger men in action. I do think grace should be extended there, but this is a stinky onion with some gross layers. Let’s dive into them.
Deflection
You’re very right here, RDW75, Alabama did have Mike Price. Thing is Bama fired Price for banging hookers while Auburn’s hiring Freeze knowing of his hooker habit. Honestly, the hookers thing needs to chill. Dude screwed up bad, his wife forgave him, he paid for it.
Do we know what Hugh’s buyout is already? If his recruiting classes take a hit over this, you might as well go ahead and fire him. How much time do you think he’s going to get? And yes, all those nasty things you said about him until Monday afternoon will magically go away. Do we not even understand the basic concepts of human communication anymore? And I hate to tell you Tiger traitors but the waiting list for Bama tickets is pretty long.
And there we have it, folks. Soak it in because this is pure, uncut message board mania. Nothing like a good Auburn hiring to remind us of why the internet is such a valuable asset that we never should’ve created.
Social Media
A clause in Huey Baby’s contract has him relinquishing control of his social media accounts to the school, which is worse than couples having joint social media accounts. There’s a big reason for that: he searches his name on Twitter and DMs people about ongoing litigation.
And here it is: a logical explanation of why DMing a coed about an investigation after you searched your own name on Twitter is pretty bad.
Ah yes, here we are: blaming the victim (or plaintiff rather.) We really can’t have nice things anymore.
Moving Forward
To say the Auburn fan base is fractured right now is putting it mildly. So what’s next for the program? Harsin decimated the roster so Freeze and the Tigers will need to work hard to overhaul the talent, which will be difficult.
One problem is Auburn fans want and expect an immediate fix and sustained success at the top of college football. Admirable goals but some self-awareness will do y’all some good because it’s never been something y’all could do so learn to walk before trying to run.
Look, I’m gonna promote Panic fans (Mikey Forever I loved those Oak Mountain shows) so I had to include this one so I could post this.
Now back to our regularly-scheduled chaos.
Yes, Auburn has NIL money. So do a lot of programs and quite a few have more resources than Auburn does. There will be competition for players. And right now at this moment, it’ll be hard to attract players with so much turmoil around the program and the transfer portal kicking up. This should subside in time but the vocal opposition to the hiring will impact things until then.
And putting a nice little bow on things is realizing you have two monsters hiding in your room. Auburn fans might be sleeping well now but Hugh’s gonna need some melatonin to get to sleep.
Sweet dreams, barners.
Please direct all comments to @bamawill06 on Twitter. The more hateful, the better. Drown me in your tears.
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