Top Message Board Meltdowns of the Weekend

Quicker than Texas, we’re baaaaack to message board meltdowns of the weekend. Let’s begin!

There’s nothing better than a fan base so down in the gutter that they create a nickname for their head coach, right Oklahoma? 95DM is going to be the Jimbo Fisher of the Big Ten and we’re here for that. Long Live 95DM!

Speaking of Jimbo FIsher, we can’t believe he’s doing his tax returns on the sidelines. Definitely not offensive play sheets. If only he would focus on the X’s & O’s and not his 1099, Texas A&M would be undefeated by now, right?

This is a weekly tweet by Florida fans. Sadly, it happened twice this week with the loss of Cormani McClain to Miami and then getting run out of the stadium against one of their biggest rivals in Georgia. Will this be rock bottom for Florida? They do get the opportunity to play known-tax accountant Jimbo Fisher next week.

Things are so bad in Auburn they’re looking for innovative ways to numb the pain. While we don’t condone such practices, we applaud the cleverness of geniuses on message boards. Be original, be different, WDE.

We’ve got Urban Meyer watch in Lexington, Kentucky! Look, the last time a Kentucky head coach won 4 Bowl games was when they had Bear Bryant as the lead man in the 1950s. I’m not saying it’s a terrible place to be a head coach but Urban likely isn’t trying to take on a Jacksonville Jaguars-esque challenge. Sorry Wildcats fans.

Here at Message Board Geniuses, we love a good poop joke. The idea of Jim Harbaugh pooping his khakis makes us laugh. The good news is you won. The sad news is we don’t get the full image of Harbaugh’s poopy khakis.

Oklahoma fans are quick to call Texas A&M a cult while capitalizing OU in every word that contains the words consecutively. But seriously, the most embarrassing thing you can do as a grown human is trash talking a 17-year old kid about his college decision. But what would we expect from a fan base that is definitely not still mad Lincoln Riley left.

The people are saying this. What has Ryan Day done well as a head coach at Ohio State besides going 42-4 overall, 28-1 in the Big Ten, and 3 top 6 final AP polls. We need to talk about this more and we’re glad the geniuses of the message boards are finally on to this scam.

Getting blanked by Kansas State is in no way, shape, or form worse than Hocus Pocus 2. We waited years for a sequel and we will certainly not compare it to a poorly put together feature film.

Luckily you pulled out a victory against 1099 filer Jimbo Fisher so you will be avoiding the Poulan Weedeater Bowl. Unfortunately we don’t get to see the annual tradition of weeds poured on the head of Lane Kiffin after you would have won the bowl. We’re not saying this win wasn’t worth it but was it actually worth it?

Did you hear that? That’s the ooof heard around the world. But more importantly this post uses ‘cock’ and ‘hand’ in consecutive words and that deserves some credit for those of us with the maturity of a 10 year old.

Again, the people are talking and they would like to know when Beamer’s next Tik Tok will be. At least it’ll be more entertaining than them losing to Missouri at home.

Again, innovation is the key to being a message board genius. We applaud this one for creating a new activity than watching Florida play whatever it is they played yesterday.

People forget Jon Kitna actually played college football and set the NAIA record for career total offense. So is this a compliment? We’re unsure.

As someone who has had a coach tarmac, it begins with being on the road. You can’t exactly tarmac your head coach after a home game. That would be Herm Edwardsing. Clearly BYU is not ready to fire their head coach if they can’t get these simple terms down.


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