Top Message Board Meltdowns of the Weekend

What’s worse than a Duke fan? A Duke fan running their mouth. It’s obvious this Genius needed to show him a lesson. Yes, his wife will ignore him for a while, but this is a story he will tell their kids and grandkids forever. 10 seconds is impressive! His wife will come around, right?

The only logical way to get a coach to walk away from their contract is TPing their house. Do you know how annoying it is to take those down from your palm trees in South Florida? The last thing Mario wants is to wake up with his morning cafecito to toilet paper everywhere. Solid strategy from a solid genius.

There’s no other explanation for Clemson losing at any point of a football game than for the refs and the ACC to be in secret cahoots with one another knowing Clemson has a secret deal to join the SEC. The secrets are everywhere, according to this genius.

This is what happens when you collect so much oil money you don’t know what to do with it. First you give it all to Jimbo and then you hand it to the 5-star recruits that aren’t living up to expectations. It’s time to burn it all down and give Jimbo the guaranteed money those nincompoops promised him.

People have been talking and they’ve been saying Ryan Day is so stubborn sometimes that he gives the offense the full week off from practicing. That’s the most logical thing for a head coach to do in the midst of an undefeated season and after a bye week.

It’s official: Kansas football is back before Texas is back! While those connotations are quite different, the geniuses on message boards are quietly celebrating another Kansas victory over Texas. Luckily Kansas fans can properly prepare for basketball season instead of wasting their time with football.

Sadly, the result of Ole Miss vs LSU wasn’t because of the play on the field but rather bodily functions of message board geniuses gone wrong. Our thoughts and prayers are with Eliforpres on this Monday morning.

I think we found the next offensive coordinators for Iowa. Iowa is known for their QB sneak prowess and if you never pass the ball then the clock keeps running. The mannequins would also cause mass confusion by the blitzing linebackers. Why are they there? No one knows but there goes Spencer Petras up the middle for a solid 2-yard gain.

This man has been executing on ignoring his family throughout Purdue’s 5-3 season, but that all came crashing down on Saturday during Purdue’s loss to Wisconsin. What’s he going to do for the next few Saturdays? Go to the park? Have a family dinner? God forbid there’s a Fall wedding he has to attend.

BYU fans are hoping to get the #1 draft pick in next year’s draft by tanking. Oh? What’s that? The worst team in college football doesn’t get the top player? This comes with both shock and surprise. Still, burning it down does sound more fun. #FireEverybody!

If anyone is looking for a Bijan Robinson jersey I know a guy who is trying to get rid of his. You gotta feel for this guy. He poured his heart and soul into Texas football only for them to just be like the Dallas Cowboys. No one saw Steve Sarkisian being a bad head football coach. Certainly not fans at USC or Washington…

Our last poster should grab that Bijan Robinson jersey back because UBRAN MEYER IS ON HIS WAY! That’s right. We’re lowering integrity and increasing winning. How can Texas be back? #HireUrban is the only answer.

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